so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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