yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Randomize