i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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