He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
