The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize