I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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