you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
