If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we made out on top of his cat.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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