K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
