ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize