I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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