Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Small penises have feelings too.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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