I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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