Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dignity is for republicans.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
