If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
