You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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