At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
