with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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