this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
