even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
