She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
porn star boner night. come get it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
