Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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