is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
