But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
