it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We're too hungover to prance.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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