So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
