So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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