I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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