This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
