i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
