Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
