have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
