Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Let's get the cat blown out
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
