i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My dick has a subreddit
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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