I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dicks are not precious.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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