no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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