dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
