I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
this hospital has no fireball
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Sext me about skeletons
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
