Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
