3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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