I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
