I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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