Porn is love you can see.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
