Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize