Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
