I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
