Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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