he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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