i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
and she was petting her beer can
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize