She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
