Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
