You can't special order awesome
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
