I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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