"it" just moved
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
