There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
