This is not my ceiling
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
50% drunk capacity currently
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
