C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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