dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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