I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The uberlube is also flammable
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
