So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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