Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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