Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
