why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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