so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
