Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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