And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
