i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
oh god the rape fog is back!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize