He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
